"Yes, LORD, walking in the ways of your laws, we wait for you; your name and renown are the desires of our hearts." Isaiah 26:8
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
A merciful God
Alright, I have got to share this with you guys because it's just something I can't keep to myself. This morning was one of the harder moments I've had in awhile. As you may know, I've been running a crazy schedule lately. I have almost every moment of my week carefully scheduled. Everything I'm doing is carefully chosen and has a definite purpose in my life. And I'm very confidant that evrything I'm doing is something God has led me to take up.
This morning, it kind of came crashing down. I struggled once again with setting up meetings with a lady at my church, since I have almost no spare time. Those emails stressed me out. Then I try and record a project for class and I can't figure out how to get the technology to work together like it used to, so I can write it to DVD. I realize I have papers I need to write, gifts I wnt to make, Letters to write and send out, a room to clean, homework to do, classes to study for and NO TIME TO DO IT!!!! So I desperately try to figure out what I can get out of my schedule for next semester, so maybe I won't live this chaos for longer than necessary, but as I run through all that I'm doing, I realize I can't get rid of any of it!
So I break down.
And then, that still small voice, through my tears, reminds me that the one who gave me this schedule is the one I need to turn to for help. And I haven't been giving Him as much of my time as I need. So I turn to Him, and cry out. Really God? Why can't I get this figured out?!?! Can you at least give me SOME sort of a sign that will show me You actually notice me and that you are still in control? i know you are all powerful, but lately I haven't noticed your magesty. I've been too busy!
(Add on top of this the fact that I barely missed a much needed hug frm mom this morning, she returned from working all night right after I left. I got a wave, as we passed on 688).
So, through my tears, still, I drive into town. I'm headed to school. Clearly, my schedule never stops. On the way down 29, I see something that almost puts me off the road. Daisies! In the median! I saw two bunches of them, growing as though it were May! Remember me asking God for a sign? I did! What other reason would daisies have for blooming in November?!? Thank you Lord, I know you are in control!
So thats the first few hours of my day :)
PS- Isn't it great to have a God who isn't afraid or offended when we complain to Him? He takes it all in stride. Don't be afraid to tell God what you think, so long as you have an open heart to recieve the peace and reassurance He will send you!