Monday, August 24, 2009

When We Lose

Watching the movie "Facing the Giants"... Going to the first day of school..... Discussing the comparison of Eden and Heaven...... Having the schedule, and plans, turned upside down....... Trusting God.

How are these related? Well, mostly it is just the run down of my past 48 hours. But it all fell into place this evening, after a particularly hard afternoon. Let me explain.

Yesterday night we watched "Facing the Giants". For those of you who haven't seen the movie, it is about a football team who learns to "Praise Him when we win, and praise Him when we lose." I recommend it as a stellar family movie. The phrase I quoted above is key to its application here. You will notice it tied in at the end of this.

This morning I left for my first (incredible) day of school, and I left feeling overwhelmed and impowered. A tough semester lay ahead of me, and I was stepping up to the plate. I knew Tuesday would bring ASL 1, which we fought long and hard to get my brother into, and my toughest class yet, Linguistics.

Then this evening, while hanging out with some friends, I get a text from a classmate telling me the Linguistics class is cancelled. Not just for one day, but for the semester. It is also offered in the evening, but that conflicts with my current (well-established) job. Now I'm not sure what to do. I have to be a full-time student to keep health insurance, and I was just at 12 credits(minimum for full-time) with that class. I have to take that class in order to graduate. I have to work in order to take 12 credits each semester. This cancellation rocked my world. I had worked very hard to get a schedule where I could take my classes in the morning, and work in the afternoon. And I was balanced delicately with my income just meeting my needs.

So what now?

Well, first I start worrying. Then I start praying. Then I start brain storming.

Linguistics is offered in the evening, but I coach in the evening. They may be able to get by without me on that one night, but that would drop my income. I don't think I can afford that. I will need another job, but i don't have time. Maybe I can take all night classes and work during the day, but i don't have a day job. But wait- last week I got a job offer from an old ASL teacher. I had to turn it down because it conflicted with school, but maybe now?

The realization of how much this will change things is hurting my brain, on the evening of the first day of school.

I can't get ahold of anyone to see if the job is still available, I can't get my concerns about night classes answered, and I can't make any decisions tonight. Oh, I wish it had just stayed like it was settled before! Why did God have to pull the rug out from under me?!

Then it hits me. There is a purpose for everything. This new plan may be better than it was before? Perhaps the turmoil I am experiencing now is for a better purpose?

I don't know what tomorrow will bring, and I haven't a clue where I will be next week. And I can peacefully praise Him tonight. This control freak is learning to let go :)

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